Saturday, May 28, 2011

A quick question (with some history thrown in)-

Let’s say that a guy lives in the granny flat (guest house) and shares a yard with you. You have two dogs and he just adopted a dog with a few screws loose. This dog poos and pees on the common brick patio all the time, your dogs do it occasionally since the other dog came because of territory reasons. The guy has finagled the gardeners to pick up the poo (and they do it in a half-assed way). 

So today, his dog poos twice in what is obviously “our” part of the patio, including directly in front of our door, so that when we open it, we actually sweep it to the side. I am annoyed because our dogs lay right there quite often. I SMS (text) him “[Your dog] just pooed in front of our door (and by the pillar) …” 

The main suspect.

He SMS’s back (to my husband and not to me for some reason), saying “sheesh and she was sitting in that doorway yesterday night. All 3 the dogs have jointly decided, bathroom in the grassy yard is not in the books anymore.”

No mention of cleaning it up. We have waited at least 3 hours and the offending poop is still there! I am livid and the hubby is trying to be peace maker. I’m not much for confrontation, but I’m also not one to be “walked all over” or in this case, “pooped on”. 

I feel as though I need to tell him (or ask him?) to pick it up. Not the entire yard, but just the poo directly in front of our door. 

Or I could passive-aggressively pick it up in a paper towel and leave it for him to find in front of his door tomorrow.

Please, please give me some advice ASAP. I really do need guidance on this.

Thanks in advance!


... (no one responded in time)... 

I ended up picking it up late the next morning because I didn't want our dog to lay in it. Because she would have; and I would have had to let the hubby handle that. 

Le sigh. I just can't be mean or passive-aggressive to other people, and I always end up being the person to "cave/be the weak one". I hate it, but my sense of decency cannot allow it. Hopefully that also means that "I'm the better person" (at least in this situation).

We finally got an SMS (typos and all) that was as close to an apology as I think we are going to get: 

"Thanks you guys. When i left at 5:30am this morning to fetch her before heading out, i could see then she was sorted. Hm. I feelin next time its better for [her] to remain outside... She was on punishment, she was miss-behaving. I tried to get her inside after using her bathroom, she tried to bite me. She tried again when my girlfriend was here latter in the evening. She's tough and can handle the cold amon other things as told to me by her previos owners. She needs to learn that you cant bite. I care for her but still, enough. My foot is down now. once my cash is right i will get her more help and hm, "continue educating myself". Thanks for understanding. Co stuff."

He really does need to learn that disciplining a dog is not at all how you would discipline a human. A dog being left out all day because "she is in trouble" is more likely to undermine your relationship (instead of teaching her a  "lesson.") Different operant and classical conditioning techniques would help them so much- she could be reinforced for the behaviors that he wants more of, and bad behaviors can be reduced or become extinct. 

She is a very cute dog, with some quirks. I find that I have to have boundaries with her, for her own sake. It would be very easy to use me knowledge with dogs to help her, but it wold not help her relationship with her owner. Also, it would be very easy for her to become part of my dog pack, and it is already hard to shut the door on her when its cold outside and I bring my two dogs inside. I don't want to confuse her. 

What are your thoughts?

Song of the situation : That's Life by Frank Sinatra. You can see the nice quality video of it here.


Anonymous said...

I would put chlorox all over the affected area.
If it happens again, though, then a discussion will have to take place. Try to think of options for the other part ahead of time. Don't want any caca wars.

Anonymous said...

Have you thought about walking your dogs at least three times per day and asking your neighbor to do the same? Jeff won't even let Naia go to the bathroom in our yard at all. He says it kills the grass. We have been walking her three times every day since I moved in with him in 2009. :-)


The Mummy Hat said...

Hmmm, it's tough when you share a yard and your 'neighbour' is so obviously oblivious to common courtesy!
Perhaps try talking to him (when you are not riled up) about expectations of cleaning up after your own pets.
And I'd suggest giving him the number of a good dog trainer! Or perhaps an instruction manual!
Good Luck!
Joining in the Weekend Rewind

MultipleMum said...

What a sticky (and stinky) situation to find yourself! I agree with the Mummy Hat - you will need to get some ground rules going. It must be frustrating! Thanks for Rewinding x